Monday, July 27, 2009

And...

Monday, July 27, 2009 6
What's the whole idea behind making a video fifty years after you have brought out the album and the shit has been played and over-played out of it?

Yup, Ogbono Feli Feli- the video is out!

9ice went the same route with Gongon aso. According to him releasing the video long after the song ceased to be popular was to prevent pirates from making more money from the song than they would have done.

Of course another reason, if Nigeria were a place where artistes actually depended on the sales of their albums, is to relaunch the album into the popular stream in order to extend its play life. It actually works for very good songs/albums- if. If the video is actually as good as the song.
Lots of fans lashed out against the Gongon aso video. It was like an anti-climax to a long wait. No originality there.

And about the Dbanj video...
It was directed by the dude that did Wande Coal and Mo-Hits Un-Stars' Ten-ten. It wa supposed to have this James Bondy theme. A guy that looks suspiciously like Paul Play (most likely Don Jazzy) was supposed to be playing the role of M or wareva

And then after after all said and done or not done- the car and all what not- it was all just the same.

Same old, same old.
Same old bikini-clad girls- boobs, ass and all (I think one girl from Pere made a reappearance), Same old ''masion'', now turned estate.
Same old gist-D'banj is big, he will rock you and the girls love him.
Pish! (snort)

Who cares!
What a wasted trip abroad!

Till death do us together

What is this whole bullshit about assisted suicide?!

(Read at Time online.)

Oyinbo would never cease to amaze me. Always making mountains out of shit-piles!!!

Na wetin. What happened to the good old kill-yasef-in-private? Why all the whole brou-ha-ha about the best way one should commit suicide!
Just buy a very sharp knife or brew a cup of home-made poison. What about all those household chemicals playing around your house with the huge skull and bones on them? Bet they taste like heaven to a man with a death-wish. Or you could stand in front of a car, what the hell! I mean why do you need to pay someone to kill you in an oh-so-public way that brings on an unnecessary debate? I mean a debate that should never have come on in the first place.

If you want to die with your wife, drink poison in your house! Who is going to arrest you for committing suicide? Hopefully u would be dead when the police starts asking questions and the only way they can get you then is by following you to the grave and we all know the route to that place.
Even if you don't die sef. I am yet to hear of someone being arrested and/or convicted for attempted suicide.
If you have give me facts figures, name and place.

Bullshit!

I seriously do not understand the whole science behind assisted suicide. Is it even science at all? If you want to die, please kill yourself. And if you don't have the liver to do it yourself then keep your misery to youself.

Bullshit!

Who wants to pay me One million pounds to kill him. Of course you have to sign a whole legal binder of documents and then give me the full assurance that when the time comes you would tell God that you specifically asked for it and if worse comes to worse, take my place in hell.

Bullshit!

man, I give up.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

More on La Blondinètte and Décalé Gwada

Thursday, July 23, 2009 0
the young white hope.


This girl is so good she danced better than those in the original video. She put her own style into it. Obviously, she was taught, still she's good.
On the youtube page where I downloaded this from, someone apparently thought she was such a genius that the person went ahead to thank her and her parents for her dancing skills.

Here's the original video


They could learn something from Elvyna up there. But I just love the song and the routine, the beat just kills me. I tried doing it but my waist just isn't that flexible.
Apparently this song and video is a remix. The original is less hip-hop and was probably done in Congo before the guy moved to France. I love his clothes! Sexy!

Original Décalé Gwada


Here's another white chick killing the moves. As in, meeen!!!
Notice the difference from the remix. This one sounds more like a Kofi Olomide thing.


The artist's name is Jessy Matador. he looked "fresher" in the second video. the good life...

For more on Jessy Matador, including free download, click here

For those of you who like me wanna learn how to décalé, here is a video tutorial.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This morning

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 6
One word for Agberos- Cowards!

One sentence which can best describe Lagos passengers (or Lagosians generally) - They are always in a hurry.

- Conductor, pay am now make we move comot for hia!
- Una no know wetin una dey do before.
- Driver pass hia, pass hia!
- See this stupid driver! u don put us for hold up.

I swear, it is impatient passengers and not impatient drivers that cause some of these hold-ups and accidents in Lagos!
Trust me, I am not exonerating drivers but everyone needs to take his own share of the blame.


Chei! all these pee-pee-pee for road don burst my ear drums!

Then Okada! As small and harmless looking as they are, na dem cause all the wahala pass. U go see small okada wey carry big horn like trailer own.
POM-POM-POM!
E be like small man wey get big kini and dey use am impregnate all the gals for area.



Still, that Okada thrives, you have to blame impatient commuters.
As for being a menace on our road... I really don't know who to blame.
I don't think you need a license or to go through some special training to ride an Okada. That's why every jobless animal rides one!

Okada small, small!

Whee, whee, whee!
For wia!
Peeeee-Peeee
Screeeech.
Yesterday, right in front of my office, okada knocked down a small child.

(Sorry o but na tow-day!)

And no one seems to care.

The whole Orile hold-up is caused by one thing or one force or... - Corrupt Traffic Policemen.
Where they are meant to abate traffic, they cause it. Dem send u, dem must collect roger!
I don't know what they call it these days but I know that their pay-off has increased from 20naira to 50 naira and 100 naira in some areas.

Sigh!

And these days, it has become politically incorrrect to insult corrupt Traffic Policemen. I don't know why but ask that dude on Wazobia fm, Diplomatic OBJ. According to him, Police are paid peanuts, hence a valid justification.
Pshaw
or *hiss* as my niece would say.


And, UPDATE- Police now employ their own agbero. At Orile, they stop buses so that their agbero can collect the money for them. No need to sully the uniform more than usual.

Hmph!

At Oyingbo, there are lots of plain-clothes policemen. Yep! They work undercover to extort money from danfo!
Who said undercover!!! The next day, you'll see the guy in his uniform as another person takes over the "toll-booth" shift.
And these plain-clothes guys, I swear they are more vicious than regular agberos. Regular agbero will take your mirror, your whipper, your loose plate number or maybe your fuel tank cover, ur passenger bench and sometimes even your engine cover or the whole sliding door!

Yesterday one overzealous agbero pulled out the rubber that protects the boot from slamming hard into the car, you know the one around the boot area (i don't know the name, pele). And as jara he took the bus' *customised* speaker which was also in the boot.

I mean, my guy, talk of going the extra mile at your job!

But those plain clothes-men at Oyingbo, like I said they are more vicious. They will stop your car that's after chasing after it and hanging onto it like monkeys, and then take your car keys!
That's it for the day! No Roger, no Bizness! O pari!

I tire, my brother. My eyes see many things that my mouth cannot say finish.

And then back to impatient passenger: Conductor, pay them naah make we dey go!

No one ever speaks of the injustice of the whole thing. No one steps up to challenge such rubbish. Not even the driver whose keys have been illegally seized from him. He ends up prostrating and then coughs up this morning's hard-earned pay just so he can get his car released and continue the hustle. He can't afford to lose his passengers, some have not paid and have already been taken half the distance. The longer he spends the more is the likelihood that he would lose his imaptient passengers to the competition- a more bizness-minded bus-driver wey get the good sense to settle police at once, on demand.

So dis morning, this passenger sitting in front actually challenged agbero "Useless thief!"
The abero got all bragada (you know naa) and then spat on the passenger as the bus was moving off. The spit connected.
Na so passenger VEEEXXXXX. Him eye REEEEEDDDD. He's probably a plain-clothes soldier or something in the military.
- Na only dem dey fit get dat kine mouth and power to fite! (or so the other passengers conjectured)
He leapt down from the bus even as it was moving and went after the agbero.
When we looked back, the agbero was taking to his heels. He was running towards where he would get reinforcements.

Of course, driver did not wait for his Voltron passenger. He had other passengers to think about, other bus-stops to go to, money to make and more agberos and police to settle.


Sigh! Seriously, I tire.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

duuuh

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 3

Very stupid guy is urinating against a wall. Turns to his friend and says: This place smells horrible.

What a dunce!

I almost stopped to tell him the obvious: Of course, it smells bad, darling. You are pissing there, aren't you? How about, next time, you bring along an air-freshener for your make-shift toilet?
 
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