Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This morning

Wednesday, July 22, 2009
One word for Agberos- Cowards!

One sentence which can best describe Lagos passengers (or Lagosians generally) - They are always in a hurry.

- Conductor, pay am now make we move comot for hia!
- Una no know wetin una dey do before.
- Driver pass hia, pass hia!
- See this stupid driver! u don put us for hold up.

I swear, it is impatient passengers and not impatient drivers that cause some of these hold-ups and accidents in Lagos!
Trust me, I am not exonerating drivers but everyone needs to take his own share of the blame.


Chei! all these pee-pee-pee for road don burst my ear drums!

Then Okada! As small and harmless looking as they are, na dem cause all the wahala pass. U go see small okada wey carry big horn like trailer own.
POM-POM-POM!
E be like small man wey get big kini and dey use am impregnate all the gals for area.



Still, that Okada thrives, you have to blame impatient commuters.
As for being a menace on our road... I really don't know who to blame.
I don't think you need a license or to go through some special training to ride an Okada. That's why every jobless animal rides one!

Okada small, small!

Whee, whee, whee!
For wia!
Peeeee-Peeee
Screeeech.
Yesterday, right in front of my office, okada knocked down a small child.

(Sorry o but na tow-day!)

And no one seems to care.

The whole Orile hold-up is caused by one thing or one force or... - Corrupt Traffic Policemen.
Where they are meant to abate traffic, they cause it. Dem send u, dem must collect roger!
I don't know what they call it these days but I know that their pay-off has increased from 20naira to 50 naira and 100 naira in some areas.

Sigh!

And these days, it has become politically incorrrect to insult corrupt Traffic Policemen. I don't know why but ask that dude on Wazobia fm, Diplomatic OBJ. According to him, Police are paid peanuts, hence a valid justification.
Pshaw
or *hiss* as my niece would say.


And, UPDATE- Police now employ their own agbero. At Orile, they stop buses so that their agbero can collect the money for them. No need to sully the uniform more than usual.

Hmph!

At Oyingbo, there are lots of plain-clothes policemen. Yep! They work undercover to extort money from danfo!
Who said undercover!!! The next day, you'll see the guy in his uniform as another person takes over the "toll-booth" shift.
And these plain-clothes guys, I swear they are more vicious than regular agberos. Regular agbero will take your mirror, your whipper, your loose plate number or maybe your fuel tank cover, ur passenger bench and sometimes even your engine cover or the whole sliding door!

Yesterday one overzealous agbero pulled out the rubber that protects the boot from slamming hard into the car, you know the one around the boot area (i don't know the name, pele). And as jara he took the bus' *customised* speaker which was also in the boot.

I mean, my guy, talk of going the extra mile at your job!

But those plain clothes-men at Oyingbo, like I said they are more vicious. They will stop your car that's after chasing after it and hanging onto it like monkeys, and then take your car keys!
That's it for the day! No Roger, no Bizness! O pari!

I tire, my brother. My eyes see many things that my mouth cannot say finish.

And then back to impatient passenger: Conductor, pay them naah make we dey go!

No one ever speaks of the injustice of the whole thing. No one steps up to challenge such rubbish. Not even the driver whose keys have been illegally seized from him. He ends up prostrating and then coughs up this morning's hard-earned pay just so he can get his car released and continue the hustle. He can't afford to lose his passengers, some have not paid and have already been taken half the distance. The longer he spends the more is the likelihood that he would lose his imaptient passengers to the competition- a more bizness-minded bus-driver wey get the good sense to settle police at once, on demand.

So dis morning, this passenger sitting in front actually challenged agbero "Useless thief!"
The abero got all bragada (you know naa) and then spat on the passenger as the bus was moving off. The spit connected.
Na so passenger VEEEXXXXX. Him eye REEEEEDDDD. He's probably a plain-clothes soldier or something in the military.
- Na only dem dey fit get dat kine mouth and power to fite! (or so the other passengers conjectured)
He leapt down from the bus even as it was moving and went after the agbero.
When we looked back, the agbero was taking to his heels. He was running towards where he would get reinforcements.

Of course, driver did not wait for his Voltron passenger. He had other passengers to think about, other bus-stops to go to, money to make and more agberos and police to settle.


Sigh! Seriously, I tire.

6 comments:

Trésor

it's a shame about the lawlessness on our streets. Even more shameful that policemen seem to be working hand in hand with area boys and sometimes even seem afraid of them. there should be a retraining of security personnel in Nigeria, I mean a complete overhaul.
Nice piece.

SkinnyLegs

very nice indeed!
plus uve got quite the layout here :)
look 4ward to readn more

Oyana

thanks guys

Splash

ORILE!
those police guys are a full blown disgrace. aw can they allow traffic build like that infront of their station!
you need to see their eyes when looking out for smugglers. kai, e shine pass touch.

they should all be put on a ship then sink the sucker.

Oyana

@Splash- ha ha ha! I'll pass ur message across the IGP. Oh wait, he shuld be the first on that boat!
Thankd for dropping by and even following me.
U r too much

rayo

i love this post. d nigerian situatn is a sad one but this is also a hilarious take on it.

 
oyana ◄Design by Pocket, BlogBulk Blogger Templates